


And So We Were

by ismellitblue



Category: Doom Patrol (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Angst, Daemon Feels, Daemon Settling, Daemon Touching, Daemons, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Gen, Gertrude becomes Rita, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Punishments, Same-Sex Daemons, new identity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2020-06-26 13:32:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19769233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ismellitblue/pseuds/ismellitblue
Summary: Member of the doom patrol endure the hardships of the world with their souls at their side aka the daemon au no one asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Doom Patrol.

“What’s your name?”

“My name is Gertru-”A sharp look cut her off before she could finish, and she bowed her head, her daemon taking the form of a mouse as she cowered.

“I’m _Rita Farr,”_

“Good, now write that down five hundred times,and say it just as many-we can’t have you messing up such a simple thing”Helia, her mother’s spaniel growled.

***

Later that night,fingers sore and her mouth dry,she curled into her daemon, enjoying the warmth the german sherperd was radiating.

“It’s okay if you change your name you know,”Misha rumbled, and Rita sat up.

“But I’m Gertrude.It’s who I am,”Her daemon licked her hand before turning into a sparrow, and settling on her shoulder.

‘I know that, but _I’m_ also who you are,”

“It doesn’t matter what others call you, so long as I’m here,you’ll always know who _you_ are,”

“Rita Farr,or Gertrude Cramp, I’m still Misha, and I’m your soul”To the ten year old, it was the best thing she’d ever heard.She didn’t have to change her _true self_.All she had to do was play her parents’ game and there’d be no more cold baths,no more pinches,no more meal cuts and no more writing a stranger’s name until her hands bled.

Wiping tears from her eyes,she got off her bed,giving a formal bow to her daemon.

“Evening Misha, It’s a pleasure to meet you…I’m Rita Farr,”A monkey sat up on the bed,clapping his little hands wildly, applauding her flawless performance.When she went down stairs the following morning,Misha was still in the form of a monkey,his golden fur catching the light from where he clung to her shoulders.

The two of them looked regal,…absolutely perfect for the pictures.

In the years to come,the girl would be torn apart and remade, Rita Farr becoming more than just an act.But her daemon,ever loyal,would remember their origins,and after all was said and done,they’d dig up Gertrude Cramp together, finding the little girl they’d buried beneath fake smiles and forced laughs.


	2. Chapter 2

Korona’s wings are broken.It’s been that way since Jane came into being.Bones clack and rub against each other whenever he ruffles them, but the hawk never makes a sound.His feathers are a mix of soft downy feathers found on chicks and fully fledged adult ones- a hint of the majestic eagle he’d have settled as if their growth hadn’t been forced to grow up too fast.

No matter which personality is driving, Korona remains the same.Perched on their shoulders –his eyes blank, an unnerving contrast to all the emotion Jane and the others were constantly displaying.

“Do you remember what it was like-to be normal?”Hangman’s daughter asks Cliff as she cries in the rain, and he looks at the shadow that used to be his golden retriever.

“Yeah,”His voice sounds like bolts knocking together in a stream“I remember,”

They don’t say anything else after that,but when Jane takes over,she doesn’t resist when Cliff gently grips her elbow and guides her inside.

For a split second he thinks he sees a spark of gold in the shadow that’s become Megara, but he can’t be too sure.Later that night with all the personalities resting in their respective stations, Korona will let out a soft trill.The first sound he’s made in over five decades, and only one personality will hear it, and from the safety of her garden,nestled in Hammerhead’s arms K-5 will smile.


	3. Chapter 3

Here is what Larry remembers…he’d _never_ been good enough for his parents.

He thought of this as made his way out of the tiny apartment he shared with Rita, going for the morning walk that’d become part of his new routine.

From the day he’d been born, a male daemon in the form of a tiny chick, rather than the expected female one,they’d been disappointed.

Then they hadn’t liked the fact that Azure was almost always a bird of some form, but the birds made it easier for them to lie about Azure’s gender to their friends,so they’d let it be.But Larry had still seen the side eyes.

***

When his daemon had settled it hadn’t gotten any better.

Azure’s final form was not one of the overly colourful daemons that often plagued those with… _the affliction_.But to his parents, he might as well have swallowed a rainbow.

They’d forbidden Larry’s world of color, and he’d sucked it from his soul, then his daemon had chosen a form that met all their demands but still felt like it was rebelling against them.

Trainors had warm approachable daemons,like Mrs Trainor’s squirrel-always worrying, always on the move, but not viewed as threatening.Or Mr Trainor’s husky, as loyal as they came.Not something that looked like it was waiting to peck out your eyes.

But Azure was a _raven_ ,with wings wider than a man,feathers so dark they shimmered dark blue and beady eyes that didn’t miss anything.

Nothing about the daemon brought comfort or warmth.

So Larry’d tried extra hard to be all those things his soul was not- _welcoming_ , _extroverted_ …and _straight_.Holding together a life that wasn’t his own, pretending like he hadn’t noticed that his soul had stopped flying.

That’s all he’d done back then…pretend.

Fake smiles,fake love,fake life, but the pain had been real enough he’d lost it all.

Pausing at the edge of the cliff overlooking a small lake, Larry looked up at the sky,tracking the tiny speck that was Azure.

Before, when Larry’d still had a family, had John and had a career-lying his way through it all,Azure had remained on his shoulder,unable to take flight, and Larry had ignored him.

Now,decades later,Larry had nothing from his past life, and Azure could fly-had been able to do so, since Larry had woken up with his life in shambles, and hadn’t landed in decades-always staying out of reach.

The very soul he’d tried so hard to hide, now wanted nothing to do with him.

When he’d been in the ANT farm, he’d been glad for the separation the accident had induced-Forsythe might have torn him apart, but no matter what the ANT farm did,they’d never been able to capture Azure.

Having his soul be untouched by all he’d gone through was probably the only thing that allowed him to still be somewhat functional.

For that he’d always been thankful to the Negative spirit,even if he’d never admitted.

Now was as good a time as any though, so he brought his hand to his chest…

“Thank you,”Light bloomed from his chest,the smell of ozone filling his lungs as the spirit wrenched itself from him, and Larry found himself staring at his passenger as his world narrowed.

60,59,58…The countdown to his loss of conciousness continued,and at the fiftieth second the spirit took flight,leaving him on the ground.

…50,49,48,47…He took a deep breath,enjoying the view,and when the spirit came back, it brought with it the hum of static and another sound…a gentle flutter of wings.

“ _Azure_?”His daemon flew alongside the spirit, just as majestic as Larry remembered, and without thinking it through he raised a hand in a familiar gesture-waiting for the raven to alight on his fingers- _and he did_.

Decades since Larry’d held his daemon, and he had the raven in his arms.

10,9,8…With the last of his strength he brough Azure to his chest, hugging his soul for the first time since he was a child.

5,4,3,…Darkness closing in on him he looked up at the spirit,and once again there was only one thing he could say…

“ _Thank you,”_


End file.
